february shout-outs and the amazing disappearance of phones

dearest all-

i think i enjoy this "monthly" reporting sequence. it may indeed mean that fewer people will remember to read my drivel (if any still do?) and that means the original method of mass-mailing everyone was, from my perspective, infinitely more useful as i actually was able to keep in contact with several people who i'd otherwise lose to the gulf of time. and why is this important? well, for starters, even when i don't lose my phone (especially permanently), i've never been one for initiating social contact. in that great game of psycho self-analysis, i think it harkens back to the days in 7th grade summer when i'd sit in the summer house on that tan phone with the tremendously long cord and listen as the girl i was hanging out with at the beach talked to her friend for HOURS! introversion is a learned behavior and as women make lists of things for guys to apologize for just by "being guys so you're guilty", i hereby start a list for girls to apologize to guys for just by "being a girl." ahem...

1st apology: "I'm sorry, *insert guy's name*, that at some point during puberty, you were tricked into listening to me talking to my friend on a 3-way phone call because we were both too shy to talk to each other, but because of my insecurities (and that a guy would never literally call in back up from a friend...) I dragged in a friend and then proceeded to talk about NKoTB. For three hours. And this is after you spent $5.00 on some sno-cones the day before that I dropped in the sand while chasing you."

Apology accepted.

You realize, of course, that from the prism of the adolescent and teen-aged mind, this phenomenon has morphed into myspace and the ilk (hence why i will not have a myspace account...). right now there are literally millions of boys out there who are being warped by coming home and agonizingly waiting for some girl they like to join their friend list. as is the rule, teenagehood is pathetic yet fortunately not fatal.

Of course, taking that trip down memory lane can be fun, especially if you are even remotely proficient at google.com. Take for instance my lost phone. I've lost every last number of every last person I've called in the last 4 years. Truly a bummer. Add in that most I don't have emails for and it becomes trying just to send them the "i lost your number" email. But google is brilliant and i found great success and as you'll read below in the shout-outs, many a dear friend has resurfaced after extended absences. Which, being a family-and-friends kind of guy, is highly enjoyable. Not nearly as enjoyable but highly amusing? See photos of friends and old girl friends as they hurtle towards and beyond the age of 30. Whoever designed this aging game needs to be dragged out back and shot. Even if, in the case of several of my friends haven't changed a bit in 10 years, the effects are hardly uniform.

But enough of that. Back to the phone. It's been missing for a month now. But nobody is using it (or at least burning my minutes). Yet it remains missing. And yes I checked each and every last bar I frequent or un-frequent. Note: never check behind couches at a bar. Ever. Or under. It boggles the imagination what grows. Or gets lost. Which is probably a good thing I didn't lose the phone there. I might have needed to dip it in bleach.

So I broke down and, since I have passed my 2-year commitment at Sprint, I was offered a nice, new phone for $109. OR, i could have the phone for free if I signed it up as a second number (at a monthly rate of $60). OR, i could cancel my account, dial back and sign up as a new individual, and get the same phone for $29 (after a mail-in rebate). Obviously, the last option makes the most sense since, by taking any of the options, I get a new 2-year contract. But not to the Sprint people. Though, once I did a closer check, my current contract is better than the new ones, so I opted for the $109 option. Just don't expect many crappy phone photos from me (easily the dumbest thing ever done to a phone... yet strangely popular esp. at bars around say, 1am...)

So tomorrow my new Motorola Red Razr phone arrives. Proceeds going to AIDs research in Africa, which is a good thing and definitely takes the whiff of unpleasantness about losing my phone away. And then who knows who I call first! It could be YOU!!!

though most likely not. thank you miss dori b., ca. 1990-1991 new london, ct...

ON TO THE SHOUTOUTS!!!

happy Valentine's Day 6 to everyone! Hope your v-day was great. and a special shout-out to friend stacy h. of washington, dc, who somehow (despite having a cool-ass job in the foreign service side of things there) may not have gotten hit by cupid. A special XXOO to you, stacy.

happy "google finds anything" shoutout to: cleber o. (san jose, ca), sharon w. (riverside), alison f. (new york), lech n. (oakland), and kristin s. (san fran). you'd think i'd write down their contact info, but i never do apparently. thanks to google, though, you're never far away!

big whose-it! shoutout to caribbean grouper. my research is sitting somewhere amongst all you fishes and (hopefully) soon i will begin to gather it. did someone say april-may? did someone say "miss finals to go dive?" if so, someone said "yes!"

happy 2-5 to the baby! ahh... i remember those days. that was my infamous bbq-with-motor-oil party. nice! as dear friend (and recently engaged) d. mike of cambridge, ma said, "best hot dogs! ever!"

in the birthday mode? ok! happy diamond jubilee (that's 75!) to my aunt anna m. of weirton, wv. besides being a great aunt, author of the best pizzelles in the family (which is funny since she and my mom are polish, and pizzelles and my mom's famous biscotti are award-winning at italian cook-offs...), inspiration for the family term of "mcconaugheys" for underwear and socks, she's the central player in the story (which may or may not be true) on how my mom got her *unusual* name. it involves aunt anna, her friend during her senior year of high school, and my grandfather balking at naming his sixth daughter (no sons)... happy big 7-5!!!

finally, a "billion samoleans!" shout-out to T3 of exit 18, nj. he's on "who wants to be a millionaire" sometime in the next 10 days. and to those who haven't heard, i was his phone-a-friend. want to know how he did (and, more importantly, if i'm getting a really nice steak dinner next time i see him?), you have to tune in! all i gots to say is it's lucky that regis isn't hosting anymore because i would have gone all USC all over his shamrock.

love and happy president's day!
--goose