Dearest All,
Good friend, fellow free-thinker, and nominal reverse-double inlaw Minter (our siblings are married) is enjoying the win of (I'm assuming his) Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series. Knowing full well his passion burns brightest for his hapless Flyers, I don't doubt for a moment that he'd rather see Lord Stanley making his way down Broad Street rather than the World Series trophy. But, as he said in his own post, "in difficult economic times, a championship can buoy spirits."
The Rays-Phils series has been dissected and in the flaming passions that is November college football, most likely, has already been forgotten unless you are among the lucky few who recognize the missing street name: Chesnut-Walnut-BLANK-Spruce-Pine. As a lifer Cubs fan, I can only imagine how long I'd preserve the final out on my Tivo, so I gotta give them their due. And so I do not choose to rehash the particulars. Although, let me summarize one soul's hope for the 2009 baseball season and television viewing: "Double headers on Sunday with discounted tickets for families. Post-season games that start at 6 or 630pm Eastern Time so that the juicy at-bats fall in prime time. Mandatory 12pm Saturday World Series game start because there's only crappy college games on then. Less Tim McCarver. Less Jeanne Zelasko. Less Fox Sports in general (the TBS model looks great, obtw...). A World Series that maintains home fields and fans, so no neutral site, you nimrods. But finish before the winter hits. The end." So congrats, Phillies and Philadelphia. Cubs in '09!
No, what I really want to do today is make some final thoughts on the quickly concluding National Election. By this time tomorrow, I will be making martinis with my friends from Austin T3 and his darling wife (who will enjoy non-alcoholic alternatives), Irish roommate Brother Euge (fresh back from Brazil), and of course, fellow Cubs fan and Louisiana Catholic Democrat Mr. One-Time. We may go out as well. I'd like to think that we will be able to celebrate the selection of Senator Obama, but I'm too gunshy to plan that parade quite yet.
This past weekend, I was in Pittsburgh and points west, often called "Pennsyltucky." It is McCain country and I'm certain that several of my cousins and their families will cast an honest ballot for McCain-Palin. They have their issues and their reasons and as family members, all the discussions have been friendly if spirited. But I bought the Obama book "The Audacity of Hope" for the plane ride, thinking that it would be nice to, unlike so many Obamaniacs, actually know how he thinks and where he stands on the fault-lines of American politics. I doubted that reading it would make me question my allegiance and vote. What I didn't fully expect was how uplifting and motivational it was in tone.
The American political theatre has wrongly painted the two main camps. Liberals are social activists and moral relativists. They are eager to forgive and forget and appear to coddle those elements of society most likely to bring ill upon it. Or so the conservatives would say. Meanwhile, conservatives are, to the liberal "elites", anti-intellectual, backwoods, wrongheaded religious dingbat nutjob bigots. But what's funny is that both seem to champion the same set of presidents. The GOP traces its roots to Lincoln, just as the Democratic Party today finds its genetic code in the way Lincoln viewed the world. McCain touted Teddy Roosevelt. Progressive Democrats do the same. And having read the TR biography and a few other well-aged portraits particularly relating to his love of the outdoors, I can see how both parties love the man. I think his inclusion on Mt. Rushmore is wholly appropriate. But, as so vividly exemplified by my varied views of my many cousins, the truth is that there are little differences that separate my Democratic-leaning cousins from my Republican-leaning cousins.
The problem is that the party machines seek to get a wedge in those little differences, exploit them, and gain power. It's clearly evident in the campaigns this season. Republicans are working out an agenda of protectionism, xenophobia, absolutism, and the need for American might both militarily and economically. And that only they can safely steer the country past the rocks (hence the hideous and laughable smears of communist Obama, socialist Obama, Muslim Obama, etc. ad nauseum). Democrats, with the fodder available to them from the detritus of the Bush presidency, are linking McCain'08 to Bush (something that I doubt would occur in a McCain Presidency, given the capacity of Congress to learn from their mistakes, the wave of discontent amongst the voters, and most tellingly, the absence of Bush on the McCain campaign trail). Now, I've mentioned previously that I think McCain has sold his soul and his good name pandering to the Republican base so that he could win their primary, and that the McCain who ran in 2000 would be a much more solid nominee than Obama today. But who plays games of "What if?" anyway?
But both party machines have it wrong. And it was in reading Obama's words and then later having them reinforced by the New York Times' conservative commentator David Brooks (full disclosure: I like the guy. He writes intelligently and unlike the blathering masses I often catch on sites like DailyKos, I don't think he's a water-carrier, partisan hack, or sycophant). Anyhow, he mentioned that the vision and potential of the United States was a society based on social mobility (note: I can't find the clip from the Charlie Rose, but apparently Mr. Brooks has long found life in this idea. That the country would find greatness in the ability of its people to move upward economically and socially. That mobility would find its shape in volunteerism and charity and education and community support. As he writes, "The larger story is the one Lincoln defined over a century ago, the idea that this nation should provide an open field and a fair chance so that all can compete in the race of life." Writ large, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln were champions of the common man and proponents of a society that fostered social mobility and the greatness that would flow from the simple idea that anyone could do anything and that it was society and government's role to provide those opportunities. The Republicans have certainly walked away from this ideal (the complete abandonment of inner cities; school vouchers; blanket hatred of affirmative action programs; the closing of borders and the demonizing of new immigrants, be they legal, illegal, permanent, temporary, skilled, unskilled, educated, young or old, but especially if they're a minority; the perpetuation of lies and distortions on inheritance taxes; and the rise of protectionism on their "way" of life). Democrats aren't much better, given their blanket disregard for the role and strength of community and religious-based services. But Senator Obama recognizes the value of the socially mobile society and the good that comes from it.
Having read the majority of Obama's book by now (one chapter remains on Election Eve), I see that Lincoln's vision, Martin Luther King Jr's dream, our founding fathers' simple declaration on the rights of man has taken root and found form in Senator Obama, his motivations, and his words and actions. Whatever it may have been in Senator McCain, I do not know, unhinged as his campaign has become. And so, to me, this election is as much a celebration and endorsement of equality, social mobility, the balance of selfless volunteerism and rugged individualism, and the indomitable and irrepressible American spirit (as exemplified in the words and deeds of Jefferson, Hamilton, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy, King and others) as it is anything else. I plan to take to task (and hope others do the same) those politicians who would continue to work the differences between me and my cousins for their benefit. I personally believe that at the very least, the Republican party needs to be taken out back to the woodshed and beaten for its bad policies, worse politics, and lingering national hangover that may not go away for quite a while. They have traded in the ideals of social mobility and equality for a country based on exclusionary fear tactics that is antithetical to the wisdom of our founding fathers and poison to those freedoms and rights we hold most dear, including freedom of speech and assembly, unreasonable search and seizure, access to education and valuable socially-lifting services, while engaging in vicious, overt voter suppression, gerrymandering, and corruption based on a need to maintain political power.
I do not believe for a minute that McCain is another Bush, but his party has invalidated their claim to leadership until they sort themselves out. If they want to be the party of the Moral Majority, then they need to behave that way and respect the will of the voters who would disavow those views and vote as such. Until then, I find comfort in following an individual who recognizes the plural nature of our country and the inherent heartbeat that resonates when you hear "all men are created equal", regardless of religious fervor, socioeconomic situation, family size and makeup. I find goodness in the idea that our country works best when anyone can become anything. And I think somewhere, somehow or another, the idea that Senator Obama sits on the verge of history makes Presidents Lincoln and T.Roosevelt happy.
And pretty please, let's not make a mess of the voting process tomorrow.
--goose
shout-outs and the world's ills solved (briefly):
A shout-out to my brother the good Dr. and fam. Awesome to see you and the brood in Pittsburgh this past weekend. While I admit I was initially skeptical of your moving there for work next summer, I think it's going to be totally great now. We have lots of family (and therefore excuses) to keep the clan tight. And my tour of downtown Pittsburgh on Sunday alleviated some of my fears, although to be sure, it hasn't completely made me not see the shadow of Cincinnati (aka "most awful town after 5pm in the United States").
12+ Shout-outs to the gathered family over the weekend for the baptism. It's been a while since I've seen most of my cousins and especially my aunts and uncles (as they are if only slowly beginning to show the years). good times and great food. nowhere else but in my mom's family can you eat a 12 course, 2-seating meal that is entirely made of dessert options. And i hope everyone got a chance to meet and be dazzled by Ariel.
Solving Election Day: Move it to Veteran's Day on Nov.11. Make it a holiday. Open polling on Saturday and let it remain open through Monday. Based on what I've seen about poll lines and waits to vote, we need to do something. I'd like to blame suppression efforts aimed at disenfranchising inner city voters, but the reality is that we should always be prepared to handle 200,000,000 votes for President. If only 100,000,000 show, great. Less of a line. But it's embarassing. Emma Lazarus might have never written "The New Colossus" had she seen the mess.
Solving the World Series, Part II: Aside of recognizing that early college football games are crappy and so it makes sense for a day game on Saturday, the current idea that "Prime Time" is best (mainly because of advertising dollars) needs to be put to rest, having been so discredited. Fans will watch no matter what, but can and will be thinned by options in prime time hours (including sleep). So cater to the fans. This means: early start times, regular-season-length half-inning switches, no tv shots of the cast of "Lost" or whatever (although, my biases do allow the "Always Sunny" cast), singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" in the 7th inning (if you MUST sing "God Bless America", do it at the beginning of the game. But seriously, what happens when/if the Cubs and their original 7th inning tradition or the Toronto Blue Jays make the series?), more replays of close plays at full speed without talking us through it "Look right here!" (we are looking right there, you idiot. Let us play umpire for a second...), no dugout interviews during the game (they're inane), more shots of the hot chicks wearing some player's jersey, more shots of cute little kids cheering or teary-eyed but not of them nodding off, get rid of the "plate-cam", more look backs at great historical moments, add the local commentators for an inning or two (especially if it's the radio broadcast) and for all that is holy, get rid of the cameraman who gets to run around the bases with a guy after a homerun. that must look stupid and besides which, it's a much greater shot to see the crowd going bonkers with a wide shot. It's not rocket science.
Solving Election Day, Part II: 3 parts Polish vodka, chilled and strained. Add olives. Repeat as necessary.
Yet Another "My Boy Is Talented!" Shout-out to: my good friend, excellent human being, canine lover, rock climber, free spirit, and intelligent voice Lech N. of Oakland, Ca. Your flickr shots is now permanently linked from here.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
T-14 Days
Dearest All-
I've grown lazy in the late summer of grilling and beer and hot days and nights, and so it's been months since my last post. My guess is that if anyone even reads this, it's by accident. I promise to return to my usual subjects soon (World Series, college football, general idiocy), but I feel a need to release my frustration at the state of American politics and the drubbing that our greatest export to the world is taking as we race to replace George W. Bush.
I have been, like many of you both here in the continental 48 and abroad in finer locales, absolutely glued to the coverage. full disclosure: this does not include anything fox corp.-related. This is part of my long-standing embargo on all things Fox ever since they trotted out (ok, threw down my throat) the glo-puck for NHL games. So when and where suitable alternatives are available, I go to them. I am not looking forward to the Fox coverage of the Rays-Phils World Series.
But this is not about Fox News Corp. Although there are a number of talking heads employed by that franchise who should be removed far from the public discourse. Yes, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly and Brit Hume (now retired). And especially Sean Hannity, who is unfortunately not old enough to retire while I can still enjoy it (unlike say: Bill O'Reilly, CBS' Billy Packer, Fox Sports' Tim McCarver, MSNBC's Chris Matthews, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, and, although I liked him as a teenager, Don Imus). There are idiots on other stations too who also bring down the public debate into glorified shouting matches. But this is not about them. I am smart enough to realize their persona, however unpleasant and distasteful, is truly centered around gaining and keeping ratings. If there was money in being high-minded, all of these individuals (with the exception of Savage and McCarver) are intelligent enough to have shaped that persona. But the public likes warriors and like-minded voices that defend their views with a messianic vigor. So a lot of people like O'Reilly and a lot of people like say Keith Olberman. And rarely are they the same person.
No, this post is about the absolute pit that American politics and debate have fallen. I'm fairly certain President Bush, if he's cognizant at all about the tenor of the national dialogue, will need a big hug when all is said and done. Not that he doesn't deserve criticism. But that he's a virtual pariah and that can't be good on anyone's psyche, even the colossal failures.
As I read on my calendar, the year is 2008 and the location is these United States. But we have elected leaders who use hinted language to incite racism. We have elected leaders who split infinitives and dance around linguistically to make offensive, indefensible, ethically bankrupt, and false statements to drum up bigotry. We have idiots killing black bears and then dropping them off on a college campus with Obama stickers plastered on the corpse. We have Governor Palin making loosely based and largely debunked allegations tying Senator Obama to Bill Ayers, who in a previous lifetime was part of the Weather Underground's domestic bombing efforts in the 1960s and 1970s. When Obama was 8.
To his credit, Senator McCain has publicly stated that he will not allow or condone racist statements or actions by some of his fringe supporters that have become captured on tape. But I fear that is the necessary lip service in this day and age. How we still have racism in this country is beyond me. But how one of our major parties can effectively embrace it and openly encourage it through coded language is beyond the pale. Especially when they offend my intellect through the hyper-structured use of phrasing that, if parsed, can be denied as taken-out-of-context, but to the normal human ear, says something entirely base:
"What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they are pro-America or anti-America." ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann (R - 6th, Minnesota)
The United States is supposed to be the world's shining example of democracy in action. Everyone should demand that national politics in this country be about issues and that candidates are considered fairly and equitably and that differences can be examined as a contrast in governing styles from which a knowledgeable vote can be cast. Instead, we pursue a politics of personal debasement. Disenfranchisement of voters is the norm. Voter suppression is the norm. Personal attacks is the norm. Embracing fringe elements and encouraging irrational anger is the norm. Class warfare and anti-intellectualism have becoming bizarre virtues, not vices.
So while I cannot wait for this election to be over (fairly confident I sense the outcome), it is sad for me to know that, unless our country does a full house-cleaning (unlikely, given the recent trends of how Republicans run for office and how Democrats take over-wrung umbrage in response) and everyone not only agrees in principle, but also in practice, to return to high-minded discourse on policy, that America is worse off. That the facade has cracked and that no amount of make-up will cover up the ills seething unchecked amongst us.
It is appropriate to use your freedom of speech (as I am right now) to voice your political opinion and support your candidate. It is not freedom of speech to use racist and hateful language. It is morally wrong and my guess is that oftentimes illegal as well.
It is appropriate to compare and contrast the candidates, especially in their philosophy, thinking, and policy. It is wrong to label and libel the candidates with repeated, known falsehoods.
It needs to be stated that embracing racist language will not be tolerated. That encouraging racist actions under the guise of freedom of speech arguments is morally destitute. That using a national platform to espouse hatred, drum up fear, tap into phobias, and act as a mindless echo chamber should not be the democratic ideal or public forum. And it needs to be repeated that the vast majority of the American populace are too intelligent and have grown too tired of this style of politics of division. Obama was right in his famous speech arguing that there are not two United States. It's well past the time that we started acting that way and demanded our politicians to do the same.
Finally, it is wholly appropriate to be happy come November 5th, no matter who the next leader of the United States becomes. At the very least, it will allow the vitriol to go away until at least Christmas 2009...
--goose
October Shout-Outs:
To the good Dr. and fam, now enjoying a respite from island life with a trip to the east coast. I hope that the girls have a great time with Babcia and can't wait to see them in a few weeks.
To my peeps on St. Croix, now enjoying the breath of relief after Hurricane Omar (did it make it to Category-3?!!) quickly passed over the island with what looks like minimal damage (apart of continued power loss to the east end of the island, and a loss of a fair number of boats). I didn't get much sleep the night it passed and my thoughts the entire time were with all of you.
To the good Dr. W and her new beau. Still sorry I couldn't make the nuptials, as we were dealing with Hurricane Ike at the time.
To Sasha B. of St. Croix and her Philadelphia Phillies. Good luck against the Rays! As much as it pains me to see the history-less Rays in the World Series while my Cubs died before we even met the lead characters (another reason I've felt too listless to write), it will hurt even more if they capture the title. So please, Phils, winners of 1 world series in 126 years, do it and make Philly (one of my favorite cities in the USA) a happy place this October and November.
I've grown lazy in the late summer of grilling and beer and hot days and nights, and so it's been months since my last post. My guess is that if anyone even reads this, it's by accident. I promise to return to my usual subjects soon (World Series, college football, general idiocy), but I feel a need to release my frustration at the state of American politics and the drubbing that our greatest export to the world is taking as we race to replace George W. Bush.
I have been, like many of you both here in the continental 48 and abroad in finer locales, absolutely glued to the coverage. full disclosure: this does not include anything fox corp.-related. This is part of my long-standing embargo on all things Fox ever since they trotted out (ok, threw down my throat) the glo-puck for NHL games. So when and where suitable alternatives are available, I go to them. I am not looking forward to the Fox coverage of the Rays-Phils World Series.
But this is not about Fox News Corp. Although there are a number of talking heads employed by that franchise who should be removed far from the public discourse. Yes, I'm talking about Bill O'Reilly and Brit Hume (now retired). And especially Sean Hannity, who is unfortunately not old enough to retire while I can still enjoy it (unlike say: Bill O'Reilly, CBS' Billy Packer, Fox Sports' Tim McCarver, MSNBC's Chris Matthews, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage, and, although I liked him as a teenager, Don Imus). There are idiots on other stations too who also bring down the public debate into glorified shouting matches. But this is not about them. I am smart enough to realize their persona, however unpleasant and distasteful, is truly centered around gaining and keeping ratings. If there was money in being high-minded, all of these individuals (with the exception of Savage and McCarver) are intelligent enough to have shaped that persona. But the public likes warriors and like-minded voices that defend their views with a messianic vigor. So a lot of people like O'Reilly and a lot of people like say Keith Olberman. And rarely are they the same person.
No, this post is about the absolute pit that American politics and debate have fallen. I'm fairly certain President Bush, if he's cognizant at all about the tenor of the national dialogue, will need a big hug when all is said and done. Not that he doesn't deserve criticism. But that he's a virtual pariah and that can't be good on anyone's psyche, even the colossal failures.
As I read on my calendar, the year is 2008 and the location is these United States. But we have elected leaders who use hinted language to incite racism. We have elected leaders who split infinitives and dance around linguistically to make offensive, indefensible, ethically bankrupt, and false statements to drum up bigotry. We have idiots killing black bears and then dropping them off on a college campus with Obama stickers plastered on the corpse. We have Governor Palin making loosely based and largely debunked allegations tying Senator Obama to Bill Ayers, who in a previous lifetime was part of the Weather Underground's domestic bombing efforts in the 1960s and 1970s. When Obama was 8.
To his credit, Senator McCain has publicly stated that he will not allow or condone racist statements or actions by some of his fringe supporters that have become captured on tape. But I fear that is the necessary lip service in this day and age. How we still have racism in this country is beyond me. But how one of our major parties can effectively embrace it and openly encourage it through coded language is beyond the pale. Especially when they offend my intellect through the hyper-structured use of phrasing that, if parsed, can be denied as taken-out-of-context, but to the normal human ear, says something entirely base:
"What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they are pro-America or anti-America." ~ Rep. Michele Bachmann (R - 6th, Minnesota)
The United States is supposed to be the world's shining example of democracy in action. Everyone should demand that national politics in this country be about issues and that candidates are considered fairly and equitably and that differences can be examined as a contrast in governing styles from which a knowledgeable vote can be cast. Instead, we pursue a politics of personal debasement. Disenfranchisement of voters is the norm. Voter suppression is the norm. Personal attacks is the norm. Embracing fringe elements and encouraging irrational anger is the norm. Class warfare and anti-intellectualism have becoming bizarre virtues, not vices.
So while I cannot wait for this election to be over (fairly confident I sense the outcome), it is sad for me to know that, unless our country does a full house-cleaning (unlikely, given the recent trends of how Republicans run for office and how Democrats take over-wrung umbrage in response) and everyone not only agrees in principle, but also in practice, to return to high-minded discourse on policy, that America is worse off. That the facade has cracked and that no amount of make-up will cover up the ills seething unchecked amongst us.
It is appropriate to use your freedom of speech (as I am right now) to voice your political opinion and support your candidate. It is not freedom of speech to use racist and hateful language. It is morally wrong and my guess is that oftentimes illegal as well.
It is appropriate to compare and contrast the candidates, especially in their philosophy, thinking, and policy. It is wrong to label and libel the candidates with repeated, known falsehoods.
It needs to be stated that embracing racist language will not be tolerated. That encouraging racist actions under the guise of freedom of speech arguments is morally destitute. That using a national platform to espouse hatred, drum up fear, tap into phobias, and act as a mindless echo chamber should not be the democratic ideal or public forum. And it needs to be repeated that the vast majority of the American populace are too intelligent and have grown too tired of this style of politics of division. Obama was right in his famous speech arguing that there are not two United States. It's well past the time that we started acting that way and demanded our politicians to do the same.
Finally, it is wholly appropriate to be happy come November 5th, no matter who the next leader of the United States becomes. At the very least, it will allow the vitriol to go away until at least Christmas 2009...
--goose
October Shout-Outs:
To the good Dr. and fam, now enjoying a respite from island life with a trip to the east coast. I hope that the girls have a great time with Babcia and can't wait to see them in a few weeks.
To my peeps on St. Croix, now enjoying the breath of relief after Hurricane Omar (did it make it to Category-3?!!) quickly passed over the island with what looks like minimal damage (apart of continued power loss to the east end of the island, and a loss of a fair number of boats). I didn't get much sleep the night it passed and my thoughts the entire time were with all of you.
To the good Dr. W and her new beau. Still sorry I couldn't make the nuptials, as we were dealing with Hurricane Ike at the time.
To Sasha B. of St. Croix and her Philadelphia Phillies. Good luck against the Rays! As much as it pains me to see the history-less Rays in the World Series while my Cubs died before we even met the lead characters (another reason I've felt too listless to write), it will hurt even more if they capture the title. So please, Phils, winners of 1 world series in 126 years, do it and make Philly (one of my favorite cities in the USA) a happy place this October and November.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
A Fascination With Health, Work, and Magnum
As the wildflowers bloom here in Texas, transforming this most unholy of states from cold, windy, rainy, and dreary into a happy palette of vibrant purples, fiery oranges, and mesmerizing yellows (before again moving into the hot summer dreariness...), so has the annual spring-cleaning of my mind and body. I highly recommend it.
It began over Spring Break, while house-sitting (and dog-sitting the awesomeness that is Bear the Dog). My commute to school went right by the gym. Why not, I thought? And it's been good. After a few weeks, I've lost a purported 10 lbs. (people may disagree whether I needed to lose it, so let's call it a "transformation"... but thank you people for the compliment that I look fit as a fiddle. You obviously haven't seen me in a few years!) And that rolled into a manic cleaning of the house. The whole thing. And a much-needed full-on cleaning of the bedroom and re-ordering of the clothes. It felt great. I felt fresh! But there was more! I sewed a button on a shirt! (I fully realize how infantile that sounds, but think about it. When exactly was the last time - especially you guys - sewed anything?) I was rising to the challenge of a spring make-over. Started eating right. Got the grill going almost every night (though some may point out that grilling i.e. drinking beer while grilling isn't truly "healthy"). Continued running at the gym. Continued to feel good about myself.
Then I found out that my brother, the Good Doctor Carr, is at least six months ahead of me in this kick. Since college, he's always been slighter than me (read: I ate lots of coconut cream pies...) but he's downright wirey now! Supposedly, he weighs about 20 lbs. below me right now. So that was 30 lbs. last month! The bastard! And he has 3 kids all under the age of 2 (well, the girls just turned two...), a loving, active wife, and what appears to be a demanding job as a surgeon. The wirey bastard! So now my goal is to get to a fitness level where I can keep up with his 6:15 miles. And to think I was once miles faster than he was...
And to top off all this lust for life and pursuit of perfect older brother, I, thanks to Ian of St. Croix, renewed my vows with what should be the greatest tv show of the 1980s. No, not Cosby (though that's good). Cosby spanned into the 1990s, so he doesn't count. No, I'm defending "Magnum, P.I." A lot of guys my age and a little older grew up idolizing his life style. Hot women, fridges full of beer, a hot Ferrari that he didn't own (so didn't mind wrecking), a cool black friend with a helicopter, and a cool white friend who probably was a pimp (though this portion of Rick's back-story was never really pursued fully...). So, in this time of renewal, this springtime of hope and the full embrace of all I am and love and want, I've grown a mustache. And his theme song is my ring tone.
Thomas Magnum would be proud. And though my brother laughed so hard that he fell off a hotel bed when he saw my 'stache on Skype a few days ago, I know he's jealous. He watched and idolized Magnum too. And though he could beat me in a 10k right now by probably a full half-mile or more (wirey bastard!), I could sense his 'stache envy. I got the Hawaiian shirts, the fridge full of beer, the cool black friend, the pimp white friend, and a hottie in a bikini sitting on a beach waiting for me to solve some sordid case that invariably leads me back to my days in Da Nang. Now all I need is that Ferrari...
--goose
April Shout-outs: St. Croix, I'm coming home! See you in a week!
It began over Spring Break, while house-sitting (and dog-sitting the awesomeness that is Bear the Dog). My commute to school went right by the gym. Why not, I thought? And it's been good. After a few weeks, I've lost a purported 10 lbs. (people may disagree whether I needed to lose it, so let's call it a "transformation"... but thank you people for the compliment that I look fit as a fiddle. You obviously haven't seen me in a few years!) And that rolled into a manic cleaning of the house. The whole thing. And a much-needed full-on cleaning of the bedroom and re-ordering of the clothes. It felt great. I felt fresh! But there was more! I sewed a button on a shirt! (I fully realize how infantile that sounds, but think about it. When exactly was the last time - especially you guys - sewed anything?) I was rising to the challenge of a spring make-over. Started eating right. Got the grill going almost every night (though some may point out that grilling i.e. drinking beer while grilling isn't truly "healthy"). Continued running at the gym. Continued to feel good about myself.
Then I found out that my brother, the Good Doctor Carr, is at least six months ahead of me in this kick. Since college, he's always been slighter than me (read: I ate lots of coconut cream pies...) but he's downright wirey now! Supposedly, he weighs about 20 lbs. below me right now. So that was 30 lbs. last month! The bastard! And he has 3 kids all under the age of 2 (well, the girls just turned two...), a loving, active wife, and what appears to be a demanding job as a surgeon. The wirey bastard! So now my goal is to get to a fitness level where I can keep up with his 6:15 miles. And to think I was once miles faster than he was...
And to top off all this lust for life and pursuit of perfect older brother, I, thanks to Ian of St. Croix, renewed my vows with what should be the greatest tv show of the 1980s. No, not Cosby (though that's good). Cosby spanned into the 1990s, so he doesn't count. No, I'm defending "Magnum, P.I." A lot of guys my age and a little older grew up idolizing his life style. Hot women, fridges full of beer, a hot Ferrari that he didn't own (so didn't mind wrecking), a cool black friend with a helicopter, and a cool white friend who probably was a pimp (though this portion of Rick's back-story was never really pursued fully...). So, in this time of renewal, this springtime of hope and the full embrace of all I am and love and want, I've grown a mustache. And his theme song is my ring tone.
Thomas Magnum would be proud. And though my brother laughed so hard that he fell off a hotel bed when he saw my 'stache on Skype a few days ago, I know he's jealous. He watched and idolized Magnum too. And though he could beat me in a 10k right now by probably a full half-mile or more (wirey bastard!), I could sense his 'stache envy. I got the Hawaiian shirts, the fridge full of beer, the cool black friend, the pimp white friend, and a hottie in a bikini sitting on a beach waiting for me to solve some sordid case that invariably leads me back to my days in Da Nang. Now all I need is that Ferrari...
--goose
April Shout-outs: St. Croix, I'm coming home! See you in a week!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The Texas Two-Step, Or: Why I Caucused
Now I realize that it's well past the media cycle, and that, following the big "loss" of Texas by Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton in the primary last week, but it's worth mentioning two things: 1) Barack won more delegates in Texas than Hillary, due to the energetic horde that are the Obamaniacs; and 2) I'm not sure I can handle another 4 months of primary coverage. But enough about the second, because I need to report on the former, as I caucused.
The report: It was a mess. Disorganized. Woefully understaffed. Woefully underestimated the numbers of voters who were going to show (we had about 200 show for the precinct). And most embarassingly, dreadfully chaotic, with 200 people pretending that they knew the Roberts' Rules. "Point of order!" "I second that!" "I nominate Joe!" "I digress!" Ouch. Worse than all the nutjobs who live and die for political intrigue, I actually heard a kid drum up support for his presumptive nomination as a county delegate by telling an older man (identified as a local high school government teacher) that he represented his school at Boy's State, something I myself was selected for but spent the majority of my time fielding softball teams to get out of committee meetings. I felt dirty being there, watching everyone pander and articulate and angle for a snippet of power.
But as Churchill said, "Democracy is the worst form of government. Except for all the others." Or something like that. I'm too busy watching "Mad Max" and determining my Spring Break plans. None of which include following politics. I have the rest of spring and summer it sounds like. It won't be like I miss anything.
The report: It was a mess. Disorganized. Woefully understaffed. Woefully underestimated the numbers of voters who were going to show (we had about 200 show for the precinct). And most embarassingly, dreadfully chaotic, with 200 people pretending that they knew the Roberts' Rules. "Point of order!" "I second that!" "I nominate Joe!" "I digress!" Ouch. Worse than all the nutjobs who live and die for political intrigue, I actually heard a kid drum up support for his presumptive nomination as a county delegate by telling an older man (identified as a local high school government teacher) that he represented his school at Boy's State, something I myself was selected for but spent the majority of my time fielding softball teams to get out of committee meetings. I felt dirty being there, watching everyone pander and articulate and angle for a snippet of power.
But as Churchill said, "Democracy is the worst form of government. Except for all the others." Or something like that. I'm too busy watching "Mad Max" and determining my Spring Break plans. None of which include following politics. I have the rest of spring and summer it sounds like. It won't be like I miss anything.
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Art of the BBQ, Or: My New Favorite Recipe
Try it out:
0.75 lbs. (or as large as will fit on the grill) your favorite fish fillet, skin still on.
1 whole fresh ginger root, grated.
1-2 whole green onions (chives), finely chopped.
1/4 to 1/3 cup soyu sauce.
1 packet white sugar (1 Tbsp.), 1 packet brown sugar.
Wash your fish fillet. I cannot mention this enough. Then, spread the grated ginger, onions, and sugar until the entire top of the fillet is completely covered (the skin side, obtw, is the "bottom").
Pour on most of the soyu. Let marinate at least 45 minutes.
Drink 3-4 beers (this helps you get through the 45 minutes).
Light grill and get coals white hot (or for you gas people, 500 - 500 deg.). That's about 3 more beers. Maybe 2 if you're chatty. Or drunk-dialing.
Pour rest of soyu on top. Lay on grill, skin side down.
Cover grill, making sure to maintain airflow (for you charcoal people). Cook fish 7-12 minutes. Watch it. When meats becomes firm, it's done!
Eat it. Drink more beer. Write me a thank-you note (or drunk-dial me...)
0.75 lbs. (or as large as will fit on the grill) your favorite fish fillet, skin still on.
1 whole fresh ginger root, grated.
1-2 whole green onions (chives), finely chopped.
1/4 to 1/3 cup soyu sauce.
1 packet white sugar (1 Tbsp.), 1 packet brown sugar.
Wash your fish fillet. I cannot mention this enough. Then, spread the grated ginger, onions, and sugar until the entire top of the fillet is completely covered (the skin side, obtw, is the "bottom").
Pour on most of the soyu. Let marinate at least 45 minutes.
Drink 3-4 beers (this helps you get through the 45 minutes).
Light grill and get coals white hot (or for you gas people, 500 - 500 deg.). That's about 3 more beers. Maybe 2 if you're chatty. Or drunk-dialing.
Pour rest of soyu on top. Lay on grill, skin side down.
Cover grill, making sure to maintain airflow (for you charcoal people). Cook fish 7-12 minutes. Watch it. When meats becomes firm, it's done!
Eat it. Drink more beer. Write me a thank-you note (or drunk-dial me...)
Monday, February 11, 2008
Getting Along With Politics, Or: America Is A Democracy?
By the way the political machine is going, you'd get the feeling that the following things are going to happen by say, mid-June: 1) John McCain will win the Republican nomination and begin to unify a majority of prospective voters for the November election, and 2) Barak Obama will continue to gain support, win votes and delegates while Hillary Clinton will win the nomination. It's spooky.
I spoke with my brother, a good, solid independent-minded fellow. The Good Doctor was showing exasperation at the Democratic (Party) process of delegates versus super-delegates (should they be capitalized? Super-Delegates!) and that the Republican method, though supposedly better, is by nowhere perfect. Washington awards half of their Republican delegates to their primary and the other half at a caucus a week later? What?
How exactly has this country allowed this to happen for so long? It's obvious that you don't get every election cycle to take a close look at how these people win their respective party's nomination. Think about it: 2004 was a wash-out. 2000 might have been a chance but I think the Information Age is far more mature than it was then. And before that? 1992? I hadn't even surfed online once then. Call it the amazing metastasizing awareness of the interested public. Admittedly, more Americans spend more time trying to find a parking space that fits their Ford Behemoth than worrying about their leadership. Just today, something like 1.5million people in Iran showed up to hear their president speak. Of course, given my nice high school education in Cold War politics (thank you!), my first thought was, "how many were dragged there to fill the square?", closely followed by, "I wonder if they have to do the eternal clapping and cheering like the poor Russians had to do when Stalin made appearances because the KGB was in the crowd and would target the first people to stop clapping as opposition and then have them killed or pushed off to Siberia." But you get the idea. America has been asleep at the wheel of politics for nearly 30 years. There are a handful of moments since Nixon was booted from office (ok, 35 years), but in general "peace and prosperity" have led us to spend more time worrying about which of their shows are coming back this year than anything of vital importance.
But, with this (at least) Democratic primary season, there's a chance that the winds of change are in the air. That's the idea I feel behind those supporting Barak Obama. He's a chance for spring cleaning. Something that might not happen for another 8 years. It's hard to think in those terms, but that's the reality of our American politics. In 1992, when (Bill) Clinton won the nomination, the internet was barely out there and I was barely in high school. When GW Bush won in 2000, I had just finished college. And, after this election cycle, the next "real" chance to take a look at our supposedly democratic nation, I'll be 40 and probably be more interested in which school district is best.
In other words, when you got only one shot or chance, you better take it.
For a more concise, and slightly more humorous take (although I secretly loathe he makes his blog by finding stuff online when I spend my online surfing bouncing between a few sites over and over again), take a look at my friend's Ian blog.
I spoke with my brother, a good, solid independent-minded fellow. The Good Doctor was showing exasperation at the Democratic (Party) process of delegates versus super-delegates (should they be capitalized? Super-Delegates!) and that the Republican method, though supposedly better, is by nowhere perfect. Washington awards half of their Republican delegates to their primary and the other half at a caucus a week later? What?
How exactly has this country allowed this to happen for so long? It's obvious that you don't get every election cycle to take a close look at how these people win their respective party's nomination. Think about it: 2004 was a wash-out. 2000 might have been a chance but I think the Information Age is far more mature than it was then. And before that? 1992? I hadn't even surfed online once then. Call it the amazing metastasizing awareness of the interested public. Admittedly, more Americans spend more time trying to find a parking space that fits their Ford Behemoth than worrying about their leadership. Just today, something like 1.5million people in Iran showed up to hear their president speak. Of course, given my nice high school education in Cold War politics (thank you!), my first thought was, "how many were dragged there to fill the square?", closely followed by, "I wonder if they have to do the eternal clapping and cheering like the poor Russians had to do when Stalin made appearances because the KGB was in the crowd and would target the first people to stop clapping as opposition and then have them killed or pushed off to Siberia." But you get the idea. America has been asleep at the wheel of politics for nearly 30 years. There are a handful of moments since Nixon was booted from office (ok, 35 years), but in general "peace and prosperity" have led us to spend more time worrying about which of their shows are coming back this year than anything of vital importance.
But, with this (at least) Democratic primary season, there's a chance that the winds of change are in the air. That's the idea I feel behind those supporting Barak Obama. He's a chance for spring cleaning. Something that might not happen for another 8 years. It's hard to think in those terms, but that's the reality of our American politics. In 1992, when (Bill) Clinton won the nomination, the internet was barely out there and I was barely in high school. When GW Bush won in 2000, I had just finished college. And, after this election cycle, the next "real" chance to take a look at our supposedly democratic nation, I'll be 40 and probably be more interested in which school district is best.
In other words, when you got only one shot or chance, you better take it.
For a more concise, and slightly more humorous take (although I secretly loathe he makes his blog by finding stuff online when I spend my online surfing bouncing between a few sites over and over again), take a look at my friend's Ian blog.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Conflicted Thoughts On The Super Bowl; Or: Did Tom Brady Just Break My Heart?
Let's get right to the facts: Super Bowl XLII was outstanding. Though a low-scoring affair, you can't help but think that this game had many elements that will place it up near the top of all Super Bowls so far played. Like John Elway getting spun as he dove for the endzone in his Super Bowl triumph over the Packers in 1997, the Eli Manning somehow not being sacked then heaving the ball down the field to a waiting David Tyree who caught it with one hand and a helmet while being viciously covered by Rodney Harrison has already been burned into the memory banks of those who saw the game. It was then that you just thought "The Giants got the mojo edge." And so they claimed the crown, 17-14, over the previously undefeated New England Patriots, led by approved man-crush target Tom Brady.
And it wasn't so much that the Patriots stunk up the joint. The Giants defense was relentless, knocking down or sacking Brady on 50% of his first 20 passes. And yet the Pats had the lead with 2:31 to go in the game, on a nice drive capped with an easy slant touchdown to Randy Moss, who was unguarded after his defender slipped and fell on an inside move.
I watched the game in a decidedly Pro-Patriots house, filled with New England refugees. True enough, though I recall cheering for the Giants in the 1986 Super Bowl, I was hoping for the Pats to be kings, finishing their season (as you may have heard) undefeated at 19-0. But in all truth, I remain a Packers fan and though the Pack gave the Giants everything and more, it was obvious to me since sometime in the second quarter of the NFC Championship Game that the Giants defense was going to be the X-Factor. I didn't get why most of the "experts" on ESPN and FoxSports were, if picking the Patriots, making them prohibitive favorites, winning by at least 20. Those who picked the Giants (and Mike Ditka is one of them) made it a close contest, the clearest indication that there was way too much confidence in the Patriots overcoming a defense that was playing lights out since week 17.
The media in this day and age can force feed whatever angle it wants, and it seems that nobody notices until the "upset" happens and then everybody quickly eats a piece of crow and then run the highlights and never return to their bad prediction. It wasn't that long ago that ESPN was running a piece on the USC football team being "the best ever" and then they had to go and lose to Texas in the BCS Championship Game. So much for that (and I'm still angry that nobody ever mentions that USC's linebacker corps was decimated for that game and that had even one of their starters remained, I don't think that Vince Young makes that run to win. But Texas won, and that's the fact.). And now, since like October, we've been hearing about the Patriots being the best team ever. It's a ridiculous exercise. How can you compare the Steelers of the late 1970s with teams today that are bigger, faster, stronger, more technologically attuned to the demands and schemes? The real thing was the idea that the Patriots were going undefeated, which would put them in the rarefied air of the undefeated 1972 Dolphins (who apparently beat only 4 teams who finished the season over .500 in going 17-0). So everyone took the bait and believed that the Patriots were perfect and unmatchable. But, like in anything where you get only 1 shot, the upset happens far too frequently. Just ask the USC Trojans of 2005, or the 1996 ucla Bruins (who were upset by Princeton 43-41 in the NCAA Tournament a year after they won the crown), or the Pats beating the Rams, or the Marlins beating the Yankees in 2003, or the Red Sox reverse sweeping the Yanks in 2004. The point is, upsets are a large part of what makes sports great. If the favorite always won, it'd get boring quick. And that the underdog has to rely on the hand and helmet (and possibly a missed holding call) to make it a reality is why you know you'll be hearing about this game for years to come.
Am I sad the Patriots lost? In a way. Mainly because I wanted to see the historical 19-0 team finish in high fashion. But the history revealed might prove to be, as we look back in the months and years to come, just a little greater.
And with that, let's start talking baseball.
And it wasn't so much that the Patriots stunk up the joint. The Giants defense was relentless, knocking down or sacking Brady on 50% of his first 20 passes. And yet the Pats had the lead with 2:31 to go in the game, on a nice drive capped with an easy slant touchdown to Randy Moss, who was unguarded after his defender slipped and fell on an inside move.
I watched the game in a decidedly Pro-Patriots house, filled with New England refugees. True enough, though I recall cheering for the Giants in the 1986 Super Bowl, I was hoping for the Pats to be kings, finishing their season (as you may have heard) undefeated at 19-0. But in all truth, I remain a Packers fan and though the Pack gave the Giants everything and more, it was obvious to me since sometime in the second quarter of the NFC Championship Game that the Giants defense was going to be the X-Factor. I didn't get why most of the "experts" on ESPN and FoxSports were, if picking the Patriots, making them prohibitive favorites, winning by at least 20. Those who picked the Giants (and Mike Ditka is one of them) made it a close contest, the clearest indication that there was way too much confidence in the Patriots overcoming a defense that was playing lights out since week 17.
The media in this day and age can force feed whatever angle it wants, and it seems that nobody notices until the "upset" happens and then everybody quickly eats a piece of crow and then run the highlights and never return to their bad prediction. It wasn't that long ago that ESPN was running a piece on the USC football team being "the best ever" and then they had to go and lose to Texas in the BCS Championship Game. So much for that (and I'm still angry that nobody ever mentions that USC's linebacker corps was decimated for that game and that had even one of their starters remained, I don't think that Vince Young makes that run to win. But Texas won, and that's the fact.). And now, since like October, we've been hearing about the Patriots being the best team ever. It's a ridiculous exercise. How can you compare the Steelers of the late 1970s with teams today that are bigger, faster, stronger, more technologically attuned to the demands and schemes? The real thing was the idea that the Patriots were going undefeated, which would put them in the rarefied air of the undefeated 1972 Dolphins (who apparently beat only 4 teams who finished the season over .500 in going 17-0). So everyone took the bait and believed that the Patriots were perfect and unmatchable. But, like in anything where you get only 1 shot, the upset happens far too frequently. Just ask the USC Trojans of 2005, or the 1996 ucla Bruins (who were upset by Princeton 43-41 in the NCAA Tournament a year after they won the crown), or the Pats beating the Rams, or the Marlins beating the Yankees in 2003, or the Red Sox reverse sweeping the Yanks in 2004. The point is, upsets are a large part of what makes sports great. If the favorite always won, it'd get boring quick. And that the underdog has to rely on the hand and helmet (and possibly a missed holding call) to make it a reality is why you know you'll be hearing about this game for years to come.
Am I sad the Patriots lost? In a way. Mainly because I wanted to see the historical 19-0 team finish in high fashion. But the history revealed might prove to be, as we look back in the months and years to come, just a little greater.
And with that, let's start talking baseball.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Signs That You're Growing Old, Or: What Was That On The Radio?!
Over time, or more accurately, because of time, you realize that you're getting older. Not necessarily old, but older. It starts with the little things, like perhaps watching half of a movie before realizing that you saw it once when you were 14. Although, those movie days were spent more sitting in the back than anything else. So maybe "seeing" the movie is just a technical term. But there's other things too. And one of the most obvious is finding yourself very set in your ways. What tv shows you'll watch. What radio stations you'll listen to. Discovering that you somehow morphed into a respectful, law-abiding driver (although I continue to believe that this last one is the result of living on a tropical island where there is no real need to drive fast or crazy). But the one that gets me is the "that was HOW long ago?"
I'm not talking about stuff like when the Magna Carta was signed (1297 A.D.). I'm talking about current stuff that just melts in with everything else and then you suddenly realize that Brett Favre won his only Super Bowl 11 years ago. I was talking with my good friend Steve this week, and the topic of some college football game came up. I can't even remember the teams. But Steve, who is but 22 years old, said that the game was from 1992 or 1993, while I was confident that it was 1996. And that's when I realized, man, time has just flown by! Obviously it hasn't, as I've piled on lots of experiences since 1996 (or especially 1992), but the rear view mirror has that distorting effect.
Why is this important? Well, my brother and his wife just welcomed their brand new son to the world this week. The delivery went well but then, a day after birth, young Brody developed a breathing problem and had to be rushed to the ICU. It seems now, several days later, that it was simply that his lungs hadn't cleared enough amniotic fluids (there were fears it was heart-related) and the latest report says that he's off oxygen now and they're hoping to take him off the IV today. It was a trying week for the whole family. My mom was completely strung out and I had difficulty staying focused in class, my mind returning often to thoughts of Brody and his parents and sisters. And that's when you realize what's important, and why, in the large view, who won the 1997 Rose Bowl, pales in comparison. And why I'm happy listening to my classic rock and reggae instead of trying to keep up with whoever Hollywood is trying to force down my throat. Brody doesn't need that stuff either. I like that simple world view. And it's one that I wish more people would embrace.
Random notes: Much thanks to my friend Ian for forwarding me my Celebrity Look-Alike. A brief explanation: my original look-alike worked pretty good, when you use a normal-looking photo of myself. Though I didn't get Tom Cruise (I've heard that resemblance from time to time over the years), I did get a few other guys who I looked a bit like, AND there weren't any girls. But I do have that winner of a picture from my time at Yale (I don't need to explain the black eye, only that I'm quite proud of earning it), and I couldn't help but find out how the program examined that one. Anne McCaffrey AND The Notorious B.I.G.? Excellent!
I'm not talking about stuff like when the Magna Carta was signed (1297 A.D.). I'm talking about current stuff that just melts in with everything else and then you suddenly realize that Brett Favre won his only Super Bowl 11 years ago. I was talking with my good friend Steve this week, and the topic of some college football game came up. I can't even remember the teams. But Steve, who is but 22 years old, said that the game was from 1992 or 1993, while I was confident that it was 1996. And that's when I realized, man, time has just flown by! Obviously it hasn't, as I've piled on lots of experiences since 1996 (or especially 1992), but the rear view mirror has that distorting effect.
Why is this important? Well, my brother and his wife just welcomed their brand new son to the world this week. The delivery went well but then, a day after birth, young Brody developed a breathing problem and had to be rushed to the ICU. It seems now, several days later, that it was simply that his lungs hadn't cleared enough amniotic fluids (there were fears it was heart-related) and the latest report says that he's off oxygen now and they're hoping to take him off the IV today. It was a trying week for the whole family. My mom was completely strung out and I had difficulty staying focused in class, my mind returning often to thoughts of Brody and his parents and sisters. And that's when you realize what's important, and why, in the large view, who won the 1997 Rose Bowl, pales in comparison. And why I'm happy listening to my classic rock and reggae instead of trying to keep up with whoever Hollywood is trying to force down my throat. Brody doesn't need that stuff either. I like that simple world view. And it's one that I wish more people would embrace.
Random notes: Much thanks to my friend Ian for forwarding me my Celebrity Look-Alike. A brief explanation: my original look-alike worked pretty good, when you use a normal-looking photo of myself. Though I didn't get Tom Cruise (I've heard that resemblance from time to time over the years), I did get a few other guys who I looked a bit like, AND there weren't any girls. But I do have that winner of a picture from my time at Yale (I don't need to explain the black eye, only that I'm quite proud of earning it), and I couldn't help but find out how the program examined that one. Anne McCaffrey AND The Notorious B.I.G.? Excellent!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Secret Joys of Dentistry, Or: What I Just Purchased
Admit it. Every time you find yourself walking through the grocery store or pharmacy, and pass the toothbrush aisle, you catch a look at those powered toothbrushes. And then you think something along the lines of: "Six bucks? Who the hell would spend six bucks on a toothbrush!" Well, to answer that riddle, me. I would buy a powered toothbrush. And here's why: I've always wanted to play dentist.
The simple joy of toothbrushing has long passed from my nervous system. Perhaps the moment that my last baby tooth fell out and I could stick my tongue in the new space one last time and feel the brush curl over it as it went about its cleaning duties. Perhaps it was after my 7 wisdom teeth (I swear that that is completely true and accurate) were pulled and I had to spend a week only gargling because of all the stitch work needed. Whatever the case, dental hygiene is not something I put much thought into aside of the "my teeth feel like fur. Let's brush!" and "my breath smells like burning fur. Let's brush!" Within nanoseconds of brushing, I've forgotten the whole event took place (unless, of course, I used the awesomeness that is Listerine toothpaste. That stuff you can't help but notice for a good ten or fifteen minutes as it continues to tingle your mouth in that way that only Listerine can...)
And this is not to say that I have bad dental hygiene or a mean case of halitosis. I do not. Never had a cavity, despite being a completely lousy flosser. And like most people these days, I spend an inordinate amount of time and money gathering gums and mints to soothe the effects of coffee and garlic-based sauces. But, generally, you could not consider me to be a dental enthusiast. Until now. And it's all because of one tiny little vibrating toothbrush that cost me six bucks.
As perhaps a sign to my newly discovered passion, I still recall coming across my first powered toothbrush. It was owned by a friend of mine in Los Angeles who, as I recall, had some minor nerve issue or perhaps were susceptible to gum recession. The toothbrush was surely dentist-prescribed. And it cost perhaps $100. Which is ludicrous, until you realize that it's the primary tool in keeping your choppers for your entire life. I was intrigued, as most would be, at the powered toothbrush. Just as I was when I was little and, for play, liked to pull out my parents' water flosser (I wish I could recall its name) and shoot it into my mouth at high speeds and then around the bathroom like it was a machine gun. It can surely be said that I have long been subconsciously been fascinated with dental technology. I even enjoy going to the dentist's office. And one of my good friends from college grew in stature when I found out that he had finished dental school and was now an Army dentist (it does help that, during said dental school, he once got to assist in some work on the actress Tiffany Amber Thiessen, right as "Saved By The Bell" was reaching its end and she was popping up on various web sites in various gossamer outfits of the most revealing. Which is to say that I was very proud of him when he said, "I just had my fingers in Tiffany Amber Thiessen!" and we got a good laugh out of that and perhaps a bit more in our minds...)
Anyhow, back to the champion at hand. The powered toothbrush. It's an Oral-B (my preferred brand, although I do have lots of good things to say about Mentadent toothbrushes) and runs on one AA battery. Which probably won't last particularly long. And so now I have to start housing a surplus of batteries in my bathroom, which surely will make my roommate Euge curious. And, being two single guys, we've already had the obligatory discussion on other (im)practical uses that a vibrating toothbrush might be good for, especially for a certain segment of the general population. But, critically to me, the toothbrush is everything I could have asked for. I am a dentist with a buzzing tool in my maw. I feel fresher after brushing and decidedly happier. Partly because of the newness and partly because I somehow still have an automatic back-and-forth arm motion (I know that's not the proper arm movement, but, again, no cavities, ever.). All in all, it's pretty fun. I highly recommend it. In fact, I can't recommend it enough. Go out today and buy yourself a powered toothbrush. Beat. The Rush. You'll thank me later. And with a minty fresh, glowing white smile.
The simple joy of toothbrushing has long passed from my nervous system. Perhaps the moment that my last baby tooth fell out and I could stick my tongue in the new space one last time and feel the brush curl over it as it went about its cleaning duties. Perhaps it was after my 7 wisdom teeth (I swear that that is completely true and accurate) were pulled and I had to spend a week only gargling because of all the stitch work needed. Whatever the case, dental hygiene is not something I put much thought into aside of the "my teeth feel like fur. Let's brush!" and "my breath smells like burning fur. Let's brush!" Within nanoseconds of brushing, I've forgotten the whole event took place (unless, of course, I used the awesomeness that is Listerine toothpaste. That stuff you can't help but notice for a good ten or fifteen minutes as it continues to tingle your mouth in that way that only Listerine can...)
And this is not to say that I have bad dental hygiene or a mean case of halitosis. I do not. Never had a cavity, despite being a completely lousy flosser. And like most people these days, I spend an inordinate amount of time and money gathering gums and mints to soothe the effects of coffee and garlic-based sauces. But, generally, you could not consider me to be a dental enthusiast. Until now. And it's all because of one tiny little vibrating toothbrush that cost me six bucks.
As perhaps a sign to my newly discovered passion, I still recall coming across my first powered toothbrush. It was owned by a friend of mine in Los Angeles who, as I recall, had some minor nerve issue or perhaps were susceptible to gum recession. The toothbrush was surely dentist-prescribed. And it cost perhaps $100. Which is ludicrous, until you realize that it's the primary tool in keeping your choppers for your entire life. I was intrigued, as most would be, at the powered toothbrush. Just as I was when I was little and, for play, liked to pull out my parents' water flosser (I wish I could recall its name) and shoot it into my mouth at high speeds and then around the bathroom like it was a machine gun. It can surely be said that I have long been subconsciously been fascinated with dental technology. I even enjoy going to the dentist's office. And one of my good friends from college grew in stature when I found out that he had finished dental school and was now an Army dentist (it does help that, during said dental school, he once got to assist in some work on the actress Tiffany Amber Thiessen, right as "Saved By The Bell" was reaching its end and she was popping up on various web sites in various gossamer outfits of the most revealing. Which is to say that I was very proud of him when he said, "I just had my fingers in Tiffany Amber Thiessen!" and we got a good laugh out of that and perhaps a bit more in our minds...)
Anyhow, back to the champion at hand. The powered toothbrush. It's an Oral-B (my preferred brand, although I do have lots of good things to say about Mentadent toothbrushes) and runs on one AA battery. Which probably won't last particularly long. And so now I have to start housing a surplus of batteries in my bathroom, which surely will make my roommate Euge curious. And, being two single guys, we've already had the obligatory discussion on other (im)practical uses that a vibrating toothbrush might be good for, especially for a certain segment of the general population. But, critically to me, the toothbrush is everything I could have asked for. I am a dentist with a buzzing tool in my maw. I feel fresher after brushing and decidedly happier. Partly because of the newness and partly because I somehow still have an automatic back-and-forth arm motion (I know that's not the proper arm movement, but, again, no cavities, ever.). All in all, it's pretty fun. I highly recommend it. In fact, I can't recommend it enough. Go out today and buy yourself a powered toothbrush. Beat. The Rush. You'll thank me later. And with a minty fresh, glowing white smile.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Finding The Best In Air Travel, Or: Why Miami International Airport Needs An Amputation
In case you haven't been through Miami International Airport (MIA, for reasons that will become abundantly clear in a second), the only appropriate way to describe it is: war zone. Since I relocated my life and livelihood to a more Caribbean angle, I have had the good fortune of flying through Miami pretty much every time I travel, as 1) MIA is the hub for American Airlines, 2) American, for all their flaws, is the only reliable airline I can travel down island on, and 3) the other option is to avoid Miami and fly through San Juan, Puerto Rico. Which is somehow both worse and better. But Miami is one-of-a-kind. And not in a good way. They continue to be under full construction in terminals C, D, and E. I think A might be done. And if you could manage to not have to re-clear through security, I could tell you about the wonders that certainly reside in terminals F, G, and H. But, as they say in Maine, "you can't get there from here."
The real reason to fly through Miami (if you're flying east-west) is to get what I like to call "the big plane". If you pick up San Juan, you're bound to get a turboprop. Which isn't so bad, except that a lot of the local travelers on said turboprops invariably applaud when the plane reaches its destination. Which is nice and fun in a "isn't that quaint?" sort of way, until you realize that the same people, when on the big plane to Miami, don't clap at all. Unless the ride sucked. So I like to avoid San Juan and the fearsome turboprops. That, and American likes to stick everyone in San Juan in a airport purgatory, what with losing luggage, canceling flights, and generally being late for most of the day. So, with gritted teeth, I pick Miami (unless I'm flying from New England, in which case, get a direct to San Juan and hope that 1.5 hours you bought flying direct aren't lost as you stand at Gate 1A (the commuter gate) watching as plane after plane gets canceled...)
Returning from my Christmas holiday (and a big Ups! to all my friends who I got a chance to see), I was on the 5:30 bigboy plane to Miami. Which was late. And when it did show up, it was painted in a retro 1950s decor. Or maybe, what with American re-organizing their maintenance schedule to save money and fend off bankruptcy, this was the last plane in the bullpen. All in all, the flight was nice and I managed to work on most of the crossword puzzle while also marvelling at the good luck of both 1) flying directly over my island house on takeoff (always a treat to see your home from the air), and 2) flying directly past South Caicos, TCI (a former residency nigh 10 years ago). It was as if American was treating me for all the abuse that would come from MIA in 2 hours time.
And I use "abuse" lightly here. Upon arriving, I discovered I had a relatively easy walk to my next plane. With all the construction going on, you can easily find yourself walking 20 minutes for a plane that is closing its doors in 15. And it was even out on the isolated bubble end of Terminal E, which is only accessible by tram (the only people mover at the airport). I discovered Terminal E gates 20-34 a few trips back when I was desperate for a restaurant serving beer and sandwiches (in that order). So I was naturally excited. But, being MIA, the tingling feeling was quickly lost. Gates 20-34 (I assuredly have been here before, now that I think about it, waiting for an international flight) is a cross between a Moroccan bazaar, a New York Subway, and an insane asylum. Every three seconds, the debilitating muzak (how's that for an adjective?) would get interuppted by a different gate attendant who, it seems, was literally screaming into their microphone to announce the departure of a flight to Montreal or Paris or Chicago or St. Louis. The decibel difference between the muzak and the announcements couldn't have been greater. And having fought an ear infection (from diving, mind you), it literally hurt. Add to this the idea that the design team decided to place a speaker roughly every three feet, so that no matter how self-reliant and responsible you were to make sure you didn't miss your flight, you couldn't find a quiet place anywhere. It was less than pleasing and definitely contributed to my overall discomfit when I finally boarded my connection and spent the next 2 hours bouncing over the Gulf of Mexico on my way back to Houston, a city that, at night, has all the charm of the future city depicted in Blade Runner.
Of course, while fighting off the urge to sleep, working on the remains of the crossword puzzle (I had to peek to finish), and wondering who is in charge of American's inflight entertainment (they were showing an episode of "Seventh Heaven" with a cast that 1) no longer included Jessica Biel, and 2) did include Ashlee Simpson. WTF?), I decided that there must be a way to fix MIA. Being that it's Miami, American home of the all-night dance club, if they're going to blast us with volume in a wondrously out-dated and worn-out 1950s decor waiting lounge, at least they could turn it into a dance club with some good music. With nary a tv in the joint, they could easily pull off a nice disco. It can't be any worse than what they got now.
The real reason to fly through Miami (if you're flying east-west) is to get what I like to call "the big plane". If you pick up San Juan, you're bound to get a turboprop. Which isn't so bad, except that a lot of the local travelers on said turboprops invariably applaud when the plane reaches its destination. Which is nice and fun in a "isn't that quaint?" sort of way, until you realize that the same people, when on the big plane to Miami, don't clap at all. Unless the ride sucked. So I like to avoid San Juan and the fearsome turboprops. That, and American likes to stick everyone in San Juan in a airport purgatory, what with losing luggage, canceling flights, and generally being late for most of the day. So, with gritted teeth, I pick Miami (unless I'm flying from New England, in which case, get a direct to San Juan and hope that 1.5 hours you bought flying direct aren't lost as you stand at Gate 1A (the commuter gate) watching as plane after plane gets canceled...)
Returning from my Christmas holiday (and a big Ups! to all my friends who I got a chance to see), I was on the 5:30 bigboy plane to Miami. Which was late. And when it did show up, it was painted in a retro 1950s decor. Or maybe, what with American re-organizing their maintenance schedule to save money and fend off bankruptcy, this was the last plane in the bullpen. All in all, the flight was nice and I managed to work on most of the crossword puzzle while also marvelling at the good luck of both 1) flying directly over my island house on takeoff (always a treat to see your home from the air), and 2) flying directly past South Caicos, TCI (a former residency nigh 10 years ago). It was as if American was treating me for all the abuse that would come from MIA in 2 hours time.
And I use "abuse" lightly here. Upon arriving, I discovered I had a relatively easy walk to my next plane. With all the construction going on, you can easily find yourself walking 20 minutes for a plane that is closing its doors in 15. And it was even out on the isolated bubble end of Terminal E, which is only accessible by tram (the only people mover at the airport). I discovered Terminal E gates 20-34 a few trips back when I was desperate for a restaurant serving beer and sandwiches (in that order). So I was naturally excited. But, being MIA, the tingling feeling was quickly lost. Gates 20-34 (I assuredly have been here before, now that I think about it, waiting for an international flight) is a cross between a Moroccan bazaar, a New York Subway, and an insane asylum. Every three seconds, the debilitating muzak (how's that for an adjective?) would get interuppted by a different gate attendant who, it seems, was literally screaming into their microphone to announce the departure of a flight to Montreal or Paris or Chicago or St. Louis. The decibel difference between the muzak and the announcements couldn't have been greater. And having fought an ear infection (from diving, mind you), it literally hurt. Add to this the idea that the design team decided to place a speaker roughly every three feet, so that no matter how self-reliant and responsible you were to make sure you didn't miss your flight, you couldn't find a quiet place anywhere. It was less than pleasing and definitely contributed to my overall discomfit when I finally boarded my connection and spent the next 2 hours bouncing over the Gulf of Mexico on my way back to Houston, a city that, at night, has all the charm of the future city depicted in Blade Runner.
Of course, while fighting off the urge to sleep, working on the remains of the crossword puzzle (I had to peek to finish), and wondering who is in charge of American's inflight entertainment (they were showing an episode of "Seventh Heaven" with a cast that 1) no longer included Jessica Biel, and 2) did include Ashlee Simpson. WTF?), I decided that there must be a way to fix MIA. Being that it's Miami, American home of the all-night dance club, if they're going to blast us with volume in a wondrously out-dated and worn-out 1950s decor waiting lounge, at least they could turn it into a dance club with some good music. With nary a tv in the joint, they could easily pull off a nice disco. It can't be any worse than what they got now.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Ranking the Football Conferences By Bowl Season (Part IV), Or: Why I'm An Unobjective Pac10 Fan
Pac-10: 4 – 2
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: Pioneer
Bowl Invitations Rank: 3rd
Overall Rank: 1st
Meanwhile, the Pac10 gets to notch another Rose Bowl win, continue to gloat over the early-season Cal win over Tennessee, the generally superior nonconference schedule (Ohio State at USC after each gets a few tune-up games next season (USC opens at Virginia, while Ohio State is home to Youngstown State and Ohio before heading off to LA). Or do you seriously think that a 3-game homestand of North Texas, Troy, and TBD (OOH!) is more exciting? Don't forget LSU's big game against Tulane. Or the fact that they have 4 away games (Auburn, Florida, South Carolina, Arkansas). Again proving the point that LSU has, at best, to win 1 and possibly 2 big games (depending on the quality of Florida and Auburn next year). Meanwhile, USC continues to boast the impressive nonconference schedule that draws recruits (Virginia, Ohio State, Notre Dame - a team that cannot possibly be worse than the 3-9 squad they trotted out this season).
And that's why the Pac10 is the best conference in the country. Better nonconference schedule, more marquee wins, better offense, and a more difficult conference format to determine champion. Not to mention one great fight song.Now, if only USC and Georgia had played...
Ranking the Football Conferences By Bowl Season (Part III), Or: Face It, The SEC Sucks
*Note: This is probably being published prior to the BCS Championship Game. It's predicated on the idea that LSU wins ugly over Ohio State.
Big-10: 3 – 4 (1 game remaining:Ohio State South Carolina in the SEC-East; Ole Miss, Alabama , or Mississippi State in the SEC-West) or a tough team at home (see: Kentucky
Big-10: 3 – 4 (1 game remaining:
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations:
Bowl Invitations Rank: 2nd
Overall Rank: 3rd
The SEC: 6 – 2 (1 game remaining: LSU vs.
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: Autozone Liberty (Mississippi State), PetroSun Independence (Alabama), Gaylord Hotels Music City (Kentucky), Chick-Fil-A (Auburn), Outback (Tennessee), Cotton (Arkansas), Capital One (Florida), AllState Sugar (Georgia), BCS Championship (LSU)
Bowl Invitations Rank: 1st
Overall Rank: 2nd
SEC East: (Nonconference Record: 21 – 3)
Georgia (6-2) – Oklahoma State (W), Western Carolina (W), Troy (W), at Georgia Tech (W)
Tennessee (6-2) – at Cal (L), S. Mississippi (W), Arkansas St. (W), Louisiana- Lafayette (W)
Kentucky (3-5) – Eastern Kentucky (W), Kent State (W), Louisville (W), Florida Atlantic (W)
S. Carolina (3-5) – La.-Lafayette (W), S. Carolina St. (W), at N. Carolina (W), Clemson (L)
Vanderbilt (2-6) –
SEC East Nonconference Home Record: 19 – 2
SEC East Nonconference Away Record: 2 – 1
Cupcake Schools (10 schools, 14 games): W. Carolina,
Schools that “Might” Be Good When Scheduled (7 schools, 7 games): Oklahoma State, Southern Mississippi, Louisville, North Carolina, Clemson, Miami of Ohio, Wake Forest
Legitimate Nonconference Contests (3 schools, 3 games):
Takeaway Message on the SEC East: They played exactly 1 team (Cal) who ended up being a good team with a long bad-luck streak this year. And lost. Yes,
SEC West (Nonconference Record: 20 – 4)
LSU (6-2) – Virginia Tech (W), Middle
Arkansas (4-4) – Troy (W), North Texas (W), Chattanooga (W), Florida International (W),
SEC West Nonconference Home Record: 17 – 2
SEC West Nonconference Away Record: 3 – 2
Cupcake Schools (16 schools, 18 games): Middle Tennessee, Tulane, Louisiana Tech, New Mexico State, Tennessee Tech, Troy, North Texas, Chattanooga, Florida International, Gardner-Webb, UAB, W. Carolina, Houston, Louisiana-Monroe, Memphis, Northwestern State
Schools that “Might” Be Good When Scheduled (2 schools, 2 games):
Legitimate Nonconference Contests (4 schools, 4 games): Virginia Tech,
Takeaway Message on the SEC West: They played 2 BCS teams, going 1 – 1. But in those legitimate nonconference games, they went 1 – 3, losing to FSU, Mizzou and West Virginia. And that win over VaTech is pretty weak, once you saw them roll over their sword against
So is the SEC any good? Or is their greatness equal parts weak scheduling (for the most part) and some timely wins rather than any real great season-long effort? I’d say that you can’t defend the SEC that strongly. Yes, they have good teams. But like the rich kid up the block, they only come out to play once in a great while and as a result, you end thinking their toys are all the greater when you do see them. Unless of course for the times that they lose, like in the
Another way to look at it, is to lump the whole conference together:
Overall Record: 89 – 57
Overall Interdivision Wins: SEC-East 10 - 8 SEC-West
Overall Conference Record:
Overall Nonconference Record: 41 – 7 (.850 win%, 46% of overall wins)
Item 4) There's only 18 interdivision games, which slightly favored the SEC-East this year 10 wins to 8 for the SEC-West. This is possibly due entirely to the presence of Ole Miss in the SEC-West. But the interdivision schedules are hardly balanced. The way the divisions work, all conference games count towards your division total, with tie breakers first being determined in head-to-head and then inter-division records. So it's conceivable to lose no interdivision games and not make the conference championship (see: Georgia). And it's equally conceivable to lose the right mix of division and interdivision games and take a tie-breaker (see: Tennessee). I'm not saying that you can be a total conference dog, but if you win 4 of your division games, chances are you're in the running to for a tie-breaker. 5 wins and you're in. Tennessee and LSU won 4. Georgia won 3. The point is: interdivision games mean very little so long as you clean up your division (thereby winning crucial tie-breakers). Just ask Georgia, who went 3-0 against the SEC-West and somehow didn't make the conference championships, thanks to an early surprise loss home to South Carolina that cemented a second place finish when they lost at Tennessee a month later.
Need numbers? Let’s take out those 41 nonconference wins, and the 21 wins over the bottom of the SEC. That’s 62 wins (practically) guaranteed. What does that leave the SEC minus the bottom feeders? A pedestrian 29 – 31. Georgia, LSU, and Tennessee have 18 of those wins.
ASU (7-2) –
ucla (5-4) – BYU (W), at
Cal (3-6) –
Stanford (3-6) –
NonConference Record: 21 – 10 (.677 win%, 31% of overall wins)
Cupcakes Schools (7 schools, 10 games):
Schools the “Might” Be Good When Scheduled (12 schools, 16 games): Nebraska, Notre Dame, Colorado, Utah, Cincinnati, Fresno St., BYU, New Mexico, Boise St., TCU, Colorado St., Syracuse
Legitimate Nonconference Contests (5 schools, 5 games):
Ranking the Football Conferences By Bowl Season (Part II), Or: Why I Like the Big10 More Than The Big12
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: R+L Carriers
Bowl Invitations Rank: 11th
Overall Rank: 7th
I don’t have much to say about Florida Atlantic, who earned the SunBelt’s conference championship by defeating rival
Big-12: 5 – 3
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: PetroSun
Bowl Invitations Rank: 7th
Overall Rank: 6th
This is the problem, in a nutshell, of the Big-12 Conference. Because the conference is split unevenly (in terms of strength and national recognition), the whole conference sucks and can lead to idiotic events like Oklahoma earning a national title appearance despite not making their conference championship, as they did in the 2005 FedEx Orange Bowl. This year, the Big12-South (Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State) was again the powerhouse, but a couple of schools got a little frisky up in the Big12-North (Kansas, Mizzou, Colorado) and messed things up since their records somehow or another don’t determine who gets to the conference championship. And go figure how it all turns out. The “mighty” Big12-South winds up going 3 – 2 while the weaker Big12-North goes 2 – 1. So, all in all, it looks pretty successful for the Big12 as a whole, right? Wrong!
The Big12 was the most uneven competitors for a conference that finished their bowl season above .500.
Mountain West Conference: 4 – 1
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (Utah), Pioneer Las Vegas (BYU), New Mexico (New Mexico), Texas (TCU), Bell Helicopter Armed Forces (Air Force)
Bowl Invitations Rank: 5th
Overall Rank: 5th
Invitees:
Bowl Invitations: International (Rutgers), Papajohns.com (
Bowl Invitations Rank: 4th
Overall Rank: 4th
In reality, the Big East should be ranked lower. Ever since Virginia Tech,
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